Tender Mercies

Alright, so it has been a while since I have written anything. This last week has been an extremely difficult one for me, but I have also seen the hand of God in my life numerous times.
This last spring my wife and I found out that we were expecting. There is nothing like seeing a pregnancy test say that you're pregnant. We were shocked, but extremely excited. Well, after a couple of months, that excitement turned back into shock, as we found out there was no heart beat for our child.  It was pain such as I had never experienced in my life.
The pain turned to frustration and then to anger. I would often ask myself, "why would God let this happen to us, while thousands of teens are getting pregnant and having children without the desire to have them?"  The frustration turned into sadness. It was as though everyone around us was pregnant, had just given birth, or had a young child in their arms.
Things gradually had gotten better over the remaining time of what should have been the pregnancy. The shock,  frustration, anger, and sadness seemed to have diminished significantly.
This past week was one to be filled with joy, excitement, love, and peace. Instead, it was one of deep sadness at what could have been. Thoughts were clouded over. The sun didn't seem to shine. The will to keep going left. "Why did this happen?"
Throughout the past week I have felt the God's love in ways I can't begin to express. Throughout the week we were blessed by many "tender mercies," as my wife and I like to call them - the most apparent of these occurring this conference weekend.
During the Saturday morning session a talk was given that I am sure was written for us. The comforting hand of the Lord permeated our home and our hearts as we listened to the testimony of one of His servants talking about the loss of a child. We felt as though someone truly understood.
Later, as I was attending Priesthood Session, my wife was visiting with my mother, sisters, and sisters-in-law. The miscarriage got brought up and tears were shed as they discussed the difficulty of losing a child. Shortly thereafter, one of my nieces, (who can't be more than three years old) came up to my wife, and with the voice and love that only a child can possess asked my wife is she would hold her. This was a tremendous blessing to a childless mother.
Upon returning home from Priesthood Session, my wife related the "tender mercy" that she had received.
Later that evening, as another one of my siblings' child was crying, I asked if I might hold him, and see if I could get him to sleep. I was able to hold this child in my arms as he cuddled in to me. I used a mirror in order to check to see if the child was sleeping. My wife came over to where I was standing, and as we looked into the mirror, I knew that the Lord knows us. He loves us. He will bless us with a child. We are not sure when, but we know that we will be parents to a child, and all of the love that we can possibly give will be given to that child.
I am sure that as the months and years continue to pass, we will continue to hold a special place in our hearts for that child. The sadness may linger, but we are filled with a new sense of hope, and of a new sense of courage that we have not felt for many months.